, , , , , , , , , , , , ,

There are always lessons in our daily lives; you only have to open your eyes, sharpen your ears, and be aware. These ‘teachers’ are men, women, young, old, married, single, a parent, a sibling, a friend, a lover, a spouse, a child, a colleague, a stranger. They are the wealthy, the average, the destitute.

Your experience can be a joyous one or a painful one, but it is a lesson nonetheless. The whole point of experience is to gain the  wisdom that will allow you to live a positive and happy life. Your attitude towards your experiences, make all the difference.

There is suffering experienced by every single person on earth, regardless of their financial situation, regardless of their material possessions, regardless of their race, culture, religion, family upbringing, status, job. There is suffering. When an unpleasant experience is felt, many people react with whining and complaining, and ask “Why me?”. Well, why NOT you?! If you just stop and think, you will know that you are not the only one on this earth who has suffered this negative experience. For e.g. a break up with your boyfriend/girlfriend, a messy divorce, an abusive relationship, a death of your loved one, the loss of your job etc. The “Why me?” people spend too much time and energy in self-pity, and waste months/years trying to figure out why ‘shit’ has happened to them. They desire an explanation that makes sense to them, so that they can justify their feelings of pain. They wait and hope that the situation will change, or that the person will change, and thus the feelings of pain will change. But since we do not have control over all situations and other people, it is impossible to always understand why they happen to us or why people do what they do to us.

Cancer, for example, can happen to anyone. Why waste time trying to wonder why it’s happening to you because you’re a non-smoker, a non-drinker, a yoga fanatic, a vegetarian etc.? Does an explanation do-away with the cancer? No, it does not. Is it not a better usage of your time and energy to focus on healing instead of fighting the cancer?

Does an explanation of why your partner is physically or verbally abusing you, stop him/her from abusing you? No, it does not.  Stay in the abusive relationship and all it does is eat away at your self-esteem, self-worth, dignity, and self-respect. If you do not possess these qualities for yourself, how and why do you expect others to feel them for you?

The “Why NOT me?” people tend to just take control of the situation and MAKE changes. So why is it easier for them to ‘move on’ faster than others? Attitude and reaction. It is your attitude that creates your perception and interpretation of a situation as negative or positive. Your reaction determines how long these feelings will last, as only YOU are in control of your own feelings. Your feelings of pain can only go 2 ways: long-term, short-term.

Learn to listen to your feelings of pain, learn to manage them. It is the blending of your subconscious mind, your conscious mind, your body, your spirit that is telling you to change your situation. Wherever you are at in life now, that is causing you pain, change it. It IS as simple as that! Change it! Logically, you understand this. If one formula does not work, try another formula.

If you can first understand that your mind, body and spirit are connected, then you will understand how easy it is to live a happier more fulfilling life. So synchronize your mind, body and spirit so that harmony and balance can be achieved. It is enough to be aware of pain, but then you have to let it go. Change your mind and you will change your life. When you make a decision (mind), your action will follow (body), and the result will be felt (spirit). This simple rule applies to a negative or positive decision that you make; you decide which.

Live your life with integrity, honesty, sincerity, and love… and the laws of attraction will inevitably synchronize with you. Living your life this way does not mean that you will not have crap happen in your life because as i’ve said before, you cannot control every situation, nor every person. However, i truly believe that it will lessen the negative occurrences, or at least lessen the severity of them.

I had a conversation with someone who was part of a group, and among other opinions and advice, he had one to give to a friend of mine. That to get ahead in life, to comfortably secure his position at a job, he should play a bit dumb with his superior so as not to appear as a threat and jeopardize his job. I disagreed with this advice. I stand firm with the opinion that one must always work with dignity and integrity….even if it may cost you your job. If that happens, i believe it is the Universe’s way of showing you that you have better things to come. Wanting security, wanting material abundance is not a negative desire. It is a matter of degree and what (or whom) you are willing to sacrifice in the pursuit of it, that draws the line. It is the FEAR of loss that often causes someone to compromise their integrity. This ‘someone’ had asked me where integrity and dignity has gotten me in life today. I looked him straight in the eye and said “today, i am opening my own company and being my own boss. That’s where integrity and dignity has gotten me”. That shut him up immediately. And where has it gotten him? Well, no where that i would like to be.

It may be a long, winding and bumpy road trying to get to where you want to go; but staying true to yourself and those around you, will get you there eventually. People will trust you, they will like you, they will love you, they will respect you….. so you can’t go wrong with such positive energies surrounding you, given by so many!

Tania Leong